Would Biden eliminate windows, abolish suburbs?

Well, so much for that.

We absolutely can't elect Joe Biden president.

He wants to abolish windows. And the suburbs, for goodness sake.

Next thing you know, Biden will go after white bread and Kool-Aid.

Before you decide life is hopeless and decide to take your own life, calm down a little.Biden hasn't said he will do any of these things. America's favorite fabulist, Donald Trump, claims these will be the result of some of Biden's policies.


Windows? They'll bite the dust as Biden tries to take action to reduce climate change.

Suburbs? Biden wants to do something about segregation in housing, and a suburb can't be a suburb if your neighbor isn't the same color you are. Of course, if you ever saw "Amazon Women on the Moon," maybe your neighbor could be the legendary Don "No Soul" Simmons.

I don't know about windows, but there hasn't been a serious presidential candidate who out-and-out tried to scare voters that black people would live next door since George Wallace.

And Trump isn't just a candidate. He's the president. I'm not sure there's ever been a president so openly racist. Is Trump running to succeed Jefferson Davis?

If it weren't for the fact that the very sound of Trump's voice makes me nauseous, listening to him might be very entertaining in a "Grandpa is sick" kind of way. Of course I don't know very many grandpas who spend so much time and energy worrying about how they look.

Actually, for the average old guy, the older you get the less you care.

A few years back, there was sort of a humorous term -- metrosexual.

It seems to me that El Presidente is something of a metrosexual. I have never known of a man who obsesses so much about how his hair looks, especially one who has been shown by sudden gusts of wind to be almost completely bald on top.

How many 74-year-old men say their hair "has to be perfect," as Trump said just two days ago?

He cancelled a campaign rally in New Hampshire last week before of a possible rainstorm. One that wasn't forecast and didn't happen.

I remember seeing a story that Trump's pre-workday routine is 25 minutes applying his makeup and 90 minutes having his hair styled perfectly.

Difficult to believe? I certainly can't think of another president who would waste two hours every morning on his looks.

But Trump? How far do you have to go to find something Trump wouldn't do? If someone told me Trump killed, barbecued and ate a baby, the only part of it I'd have trouble believing is that he did the actual work.

Hey, though.

At least he won't abolish the suburbs.