If you want to be happy from now on, do what you can for others

"... to dance beneath the diamond sky with one arm waving free."
-- BOB DYLAN

I was walking on a hiking trail in Lost Maples State Natural Area in South Texas some years back when I tweaked my knee and decided to sit down for a while.

Lost Maples

The atmosphere was incredible, and the sky was so clear I could see the half moon in the western sky at 10 a.m. I sat on a rock, pulled out my little notebook and started jotting down thoughts about happiness.

One thing I realized almost instantly is that unless you allow it, there isn't anyone in the world who can prevent you from being happy.

But along those same lines, the most useless piece of advice you can give anyone is to "try and be happy." The more any of us "try to be happy," the more elusive happiness becomes.


If I "try to be happy," I eat too much, I indulge my senses or I spend money to buy "things." Any of those actions might give me a temporary high, but those highs are nearly always followed by lows.

On the other hand, if I set out to make the people around me happy, I usually don't feed them, stimulate their senses or spend money on them. I praise them, I help them accomplish things or I do something thoughtful for them.

Making them happy improves their mood and makes me happy as well. Making other people happy makes them want to be around you, which is the real Law of Attraction.

The whole "secret" mentality of attracting money or possessions by wishing for them is ridiculous. There isn't enough money in the world for everyone to be wealthy, and when you fail, they just tell you that you didn't try hard enough.

The true Law of Attraction is that the more you work to make other people happy, the more you will attract happiness to yourself.

Consider sexual attraction. If you see sex as a conquest, as "getting your rocks off" or just, "I'd love to do her (or him)," it's an empty act.

Although to give Woody Allen his due, as empty acts goes, it's not bad.

But if sex is part of closeness, if you want to be with someone because the thought of making them happy is paramount in your mind, it can be a transcendent experience. It really comes down to one thing: Stop worrying about yourself.

To get back to the mantra of sorts I have been trying to get across the last few days, there are three steps:

1. Love God so that you understand you are not the center of the universe, the crown of creation.

2. Let go of past regrets and disappointments. Too many people live in the past or in the future. Live in the present and the future will take care of itself.

3. Devote your energy to making the people around you happy. Don't spend any time trying to make yourself happy.

The first real dating relationship I ever had ended sadly for me, mostly because the lovely young lady I was seeing was too young for a real relationship.

When she broke up with me, she said something wonderful:

"You have done more things to make me happy than any boy I have ever known."

It remains one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.