Following in dad's footsteps not a good qualification for president

One of the toughest burdens to overcome is being the son of a famous father.

Mickey Mantle Jr. couldn't play baseball, Frank Sinatra Jr. was a mediocre singer, Richard Simmons Jr. was ...

Uh, Mike. There will never be a Richard Simmons Jr.

Oh, right. Anyway, you get the point. I would imagine that if Jesus had had a son, he would have been a pretty pale imitation of his dad.

Which brings us to Big George Bush and George Junior.

Mike, you're still bashing George Dubya?

It's actually necessary. So much of what L'il Dubya did is still with us, like Sammy Alito and John Roberts and their horrific Citizens United vs. FEC decision.

It's apparent that when it comes to America, Dubya is going to be the gift that keeps on giving. And with little brother Jebya! currently running, it makes it even more timely.

Big George is actually a pretty impressive man, if you look at him. He was the youngest fighter pilot in World War II, he actually succeeded in the oil bidness and he carved out a political career for himself.


True, he wasn't always a Profile in Courage. He was a Nixon defender during Watergate, and he sold out his belief in abortion rights and his description of Reaganomics as "voodoo economics" to become vice president.

But when he was president, he not only tackled the savings & loan cleanup, he navigated the end of the Cold War firmly and strongly and he built international support for the first Gulf War. He also raised taxes when it was necessary even though it cost him his re-election.

I believe history will treat George H.W. Bush more kindly than his fellow Republicans have for the last 20 years.

Then there's Junior.

Technically, George W. Bush isn't a junior (no H), but in his younger days when he was trying to follow in his daddy's footsteps, he often introduced himself as George Bush Junior.

He dodged the draft and then didn't fulfill his National Guard obligations, he failed in every business venture he tried and he battled cocaine addiction and alcoholism until he was 40.

When he started running for office, he decided to be more Catholic than the Pope when it came to conservatism, and he declared that his real political father was Ronald Reagan, not the man whose sperm made him.

Mike, would you vote for Ronald Reagan Jr.?

Actually, there is a Ronald Reagan Jr., and he's a Democrat. But no, rules are rules. I wouldn't vote for him either. Same problem.

The problem was, when Dubya became president, he was sort of a Frankenstein's monster version of Reagan. He was Reagan without the sunny personality and the ability to change course when he knew it was necessary.

Everyone remembers Reagan's big tax cut in 1981, but they tend to forget he supported and signed tax increases the next three years when he knew they were necessary. And for all his jokes about Evil Empires, Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev worked very well together to wind down the Cold War.

In his eight years in the White House, Dubya was a one trick pony -- be more of a man than dad was.

Don't raise taxes, get Saddam Hussein and bring the Middle East to Jesus.

I honestly don't know if Dub was our worst president ever, but I know you could throw him into the conversation and nobody who wasn't a right-wing ideologue would laugh.

Warren G. Harding was pretty awful. So were Ulysses S. Grant, Andrew Johnson, James Buchanan and James Madison. Richard Nixon was a criminal.

But for all the disastrous things Our Dubya did, Citizens United shows that he is -- and will continue to be -- the bad president who never goes away.

And even if he does, little brother Jebya! is trying to make it a trio of Bush presidents.

So listen up.

I don't care if they're Democrats or Republicans, but we need to make a national vow.

Never, never, never vote for a junior again.

Or his little brother.