Corporal punishment is schools is a silly relic of a different America

I never thought much of corporal punishment in schools.

My one personal experience with it was so strange, so Kafka-esque almost, as to eliminate any possible feeling that it might be useful.

The board of education

It happened in late January 1963, just after we had moved from Ohio to Northern Virginia for my Dad's job working for the Air Force. I was halfway through the eighth grade, and all of a sudden I didn't know anyone at all.

On my second or third day at my new school, I was in the middle of changing classes when a kid I didn't even know jumped me and started hitting me.

I had a quick decision to make. My parents had told me many times they did not want me to fight, that it took a bigger man to walk away from a fight than to participate in one. That was something that made a lot of sense to me for adults, but it really didn't seem like a workable way for a 13-year-old who was the new kid in town to behave.

The kid who had jumped me was no bigger than I was, and he wasn't particularly strong. I probably could have held my own against him, but I remember thinking that if I retaliated, I would be punished too. I decided to cover up and protect myself, trusting to the truth to be on my side.

Teachers broke up the fight and took us to the principal's office. As soon as the assistant principal for discipline walked into the room, the other kid spoke up.

Thank you sir ...

"He started it."

Of all the things he might have said, that was the last thing I expected to hear. I denied it and tried to tell the guy what had really happened. He could have asked if there were any witnesses and maybe someone would have told the truth.

Instead, he said since it was my word against the other kid's, he would have to punish both of us. I said that wasn't right, and his response was ridiculous. He suggested that I was frightened of being paddled, and the other kid smirked at me.

So I was spanked. It wasn't a big deal -- one hit, maybe two, I really don't remember -- but it left me feeling that the system was completely ridiculous. I found myself wondering what kind of person wanted to be an assistant principal for discipline, and for years and years I thought someday I would return to that school as an adult and tell the guy what a jerk he had been.

Of course I didn't. Eventually I even forgot the guy's name, but when it came time for me to talk to my son about the kind of man I hoped he would become, I told him the story.

I told him I didn't want him to be the kind of man who started fights, but I said when the question arose of whether to fight back when he was attacked, I trusted him to use his own judgement. I told him there would be times when he should walk away. I told him there would be other times when he might want to defend himself.

I trusted him to know the difference.

A lot of the corporal punishment has vanished from our schools, but there is still too much. I think it's stupid, because the only lesson it really teaches is that bigger people can assert their will on littler people.

There's nothing educational about that.