This white man can't jump and he cannot sing either

Most people have some things they're good at and some things they're not. And unless they're particularly peaceful, satisfied people, they have one or two things they can't do that they wish they could.

When I used to think about it, there were two talents I wished I had -- one a lot, the other not so much.

I was a decent neighborhood athlete, not good enough to dream of competing at higher levels. Of all the athletic skills I wished I had, the one I would have loved to have would have been the ability to be a white man who could jump (on the basketball court).

I peaked just under 5-foot-11, and we had 6-5 white guys on our high school team who couldn't dunk, so that wasn't a real high priority for me.

The skill I really wished I had was being able to sing. I wrote the other day about how much I enjoyed acting, and I would have loved to be able to try out for musicals.

According to Scientific American, in an article which needs to be purchased to read in full, the problem most people have is not one of a bad ear but of untrained throat muscles.

My two closest friends both sing very well, to the point where they learned to play guitar, wrote songs and then sang their own songs.

I could never have done anything like that, but I surely would have loved a small part with maybe one song in a show like "The Music Man."

In 1972, my big year for acting, I did two roles for Vienna Community Theatre -- a small role in the noir play "Laura" and my aforementioned turn in "Glass Menagerie." They were pleased with the job I did in the two roles, and they hoped I would try out for the musical they were doing next.

"It was "Music Man," and I figured I would try. I had no intention of trying for the lead, but one song I could sing without butchering it too badly was "76 Trombones."



I tried. They told me they would let me know the next time they were doing drama or comedy, and I realized I wasn't going to have a career doing musicals.

But oh, it would have been so much fun to be able to sing.