Computers seem to be making life worse and worse

Remember 1992, the year it seemed as if everything that could go wrong for the royal family in the UK did go wrong?

Chuck and Di separated and eventually divorced, Fergie got her toes sucked and was photographed topless. Oh, and Windsor Castle almost burned down.

Speaking of an anus horribilis ...

Other that the fact that she was still on the young side of 70, Queen Elizabeth II didn't have much good to say about 1992. What was it she called it? Oh, yes.

"An anus horribilis."

"Annus, not anus."

"Well, she was prostate with grief."

"Prostrate with grief, a joke none of you will get unless you saw Richard Lester's 'Finders Keepers.'"

So maybe I should get to the point.

Hurricanes, conspiracies and memories for a Friday

Short takes from a journey through a disorganized mind:

Houston, June 2010

The last time I visited Houston was a little more than seven years ago. It was my Texas Summer, when I spent 11 weeks enjoying the Hill Country.

If you're wondering what got me all the way over to Houston, it was the chance to add another ballpark to my list of ones where I saw a baseball game.

I never saw a game in the Astrodome, and I didn't get to the new park when it was called Enron Field. But Minute Maid Park was very nice, and Roy Oswalt pitched the Astros past the then-still-cursed Cubs.

Once I was on I-10 heading west after the game, I saw this sign. It was windy in Houston, but not raining. I'm not even sure there was a hurricane anywhere at the time.

But I'd never seen that particular sign anywhere else, and I wanted to remember it.

Houston, August 2017

I assume Houstonians never forget.

Times like this all you can do is pray and hope for the best. Apparently a lot of Texans will be getting nasty surprises from their insurance companies. Something like 80 percent of homeowners policies that cover hurricanes provide funds for wind damage ... but not for flooding.

Oops.

***

Occasionally there are nice surprises that come completely out of nowhere.

1986

I got an email from my daughter yesterday. Attached was a short video clip from 1986, a clip of my wife -- at the time a year younger than Pauline is now -- talking about the Voyager mission. At the time, Nicole still worked at the CNRS in Toulouse, France.

Unless it was late fall, I was still in St. Louis, with jobs in Colorado, Nevada and California ahead of me before I would meet her in September 1992.

She looks so young.

***

I have a friend who has never seen a conspiracy theory he didn't like.

Whether it was Roswell, JFK, 9/11 or why Dick Sargent replaced Dick York as Darren on "Bewitched," my friend is quick to see plotting and planning even where none exists.

That's why it was such a joy for me in 1999 to discover David Icke's "The Biggest Secret," which pretty much explains everything.

It's from the school of aliens being behind everything, and this one involves shape-shifting lizards. They are among us, and some of the more important ones are Queen Elizabeth and Poppy Bush.

Icke quotes people who say they have seen the Queen switch from lizard to human, but fewer people have seen Poppy.

There are so many of these people who just cannot seem to accept the world for what it is. The way I look at it, if there really were some massive conspiracy behind things, they would have to have come up with someone better than Trump.

***

Late 1950s, Laura, Grandma and me

Yesterday would have been my grandmother's 122nd birthday. Since the last one she actually celebrated was No. 94, she has been gone a long time. The reason i mention it is that I remembered the Indiana woman who died around Thanksgiving 2008. She lived to be 115, and all her children and grandchildren had predeceased her.

If my grandmother were alive today, she would still have one of her two children -- my mother -- alive and all nine of her grandchildren as well. In fact her other child, my mother's older brother, lived until 2010 and died a few months before what would have been her 115th birthday.

If there is one thing that will eventually make dying and crossing over bearable, it will be seeing lost loved ones again.

My grandmother is first on the list.

***

Another departed friend would have been celebrating his 66th birthday today. I had been friends with Tom Kensler since the summer of 1965, when his family lived a little more than a block south of mine in Fairfax, Va. Of all my childhood friends, he was the only other one to make a career of journalism, and he was much more successful than I was.

Tom Kensler

Ironically, we wound up working for the same scummy conglomerate. I got shoved out the door of the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin with nothing in 2008, and Tom accepted a severance package from the Denver Post that included a year's pay in 2015.

The last time I saw Tom alive was April 9, 2013, when we had lunch together in Atlanta. It was the day after Louisville had beaten Michigan in the Georgia Dome to win the NCAA men's basketball championship.

He was flying back to Denver later in the day, and we agreed to meet in the lobby of his hotel at a certain time.

Well, we were both there. We looked around. And amazingly, for nearly five minutes we didn't recognize each other. When we finally identified ourselves, sort of the same way Americans speak other languages (with a question mark at the end of every sentence), we had a good laugh.

We had lunch and talked for about an hour. He told me that he was really. His job was good, his golf game was good and most of all, he had the love of his life in his marriage with Pam. I said I had to meet her some day, and I did -- 3 1/2 years later at his funeral.

He was a couple of months shy of 65 when a brain aneurysm killed him. I made the trip there and back for the funeral in about 24 hours, and I found myself sitting in a nearly deserted terminal in Denver waiting for my red-eye flight home and crying at the thought of never seeing my friend again.

At least not in this world.

It wasn't the two minutes, it was what happened in them

I was surprised when I looked at Facebook this morning and saw comments from several people I know about Monday's total eclipse of the Sun.

Just past totality.

Several of them said they didn't see what the fuss was, that the eclipse wasn't anything all that special.

All I can say is, they didn't see what I saw.

What I saw, at 2:38 p.m. in Paladin Stadium at Furman University in Greenville, S.C., was unlike anything I had ever seen before.

For about 20 minutes before the moment of totality, the Sun became a smaller and smaller crescent as the Moon covered more and more of its surface.

Good thing Trump owns the golf course he's ruining

Short takes from a journey through a disorganized mind.

Ugh.

A short video seemingly gone viral today shows America's First Golfer doing something really disgusting.

No, Donald Trump didn't drop trou and take a dump on one of the greens. When it comes to damage to a course, he did even worse. Most of the courses I've played in more than 20 years as a golfer are very protective of their greens. You're not allowed to walk on them with metal spikes and you're expected to repair whatever damage your ball or club might have done.



 There is never any reason -- except for maybe a 300-pound man collapsing and needing to be moved -- to drive a golf cart onto a green.

Puling millennial wants to blame boomers for everything

In March 1990, when I was covering college basketball for the Reno Gazette-Journal, I was driving from Reno to Boise, Idaho (only 35 miles from my favorite Idaho town, Tickle Me). to cover the Big Sky Conference basketball tournament.

It was a pretty nice day and I was breezing along in my Pontiac Fiero, listening to the kid in the passenger seat rant about how much he hated the Baby Boomers. I don't remember his name, but he was our 21-year-old intern from Arizona State and he was accompanying me to do sidebars and notes.

His two biggest complaints were drugs and Elvis.

Fat Elvis

He despised both.

I tried to explain to him that Elvis wasn't really a boomer deal. He was really a product of the '50s Generation. I'm an early boomer, and Elvis was popular before I even started school.

He wasn't listening, the first of maybe hundreds of times I've heard people whine about the boomers. It never ceases. One of the most ridiculous ones I saw was on Facebook, and it was some puling millennial going on about 25 horrible things the boomers gave to the world.

Puling

I decided to give it a look, and I saw two problems with it. First, the P.M. author had listed 45 things. Second, at least 40 of them were things that had little to do with the Baby Boom.

I was so thrilled to see something that inspired me to respond and had nothing -- well, nearly nothing -- to do with Donald Trump that I sat down right way to do this.

Well, three days later ...

Here we go.

1. DIAMONDS -- Yes, I know diamonds are a scam that maintain their value only through severely limiting the supply. But diamonds were around long before Howdy Doody or Davy Crockett. There's nothing special that connects them to the boomers.

2. GOLF -- Well, George Carlin ranted about golf courses and what a pussy sport golf is. But Carlin was born in 1937, and golf was popular long before the first boomer boomed. Yes, it's still around, and it didn't gain popularity because of the boomers.

Once malls covered the country

3. MALLS -- This is just about the only one on the list I can't argue. Malls started in the '60s and pretty much hit their heyday in the '80s. Now they're going away. When I was at George Washington University at the beginning of the '70s, a friend of mine from Long Island said that Northern Virginians think of Tyson's Corner as heaven. Well, yeah.

4. PLAIN WHITE TOAST -- Say what?

If the news is fake, here's a look at how and why it got that way

Note: This turned out about three times longer than I expected. I was tasked with writing just about "fake news," but the article expanded into how and why news became thought of as "fake."

***

So Donald Trump called the "fake news media" the enemy of the American people.

I couldn't agree more.

With the words, at least. My guess is that the man I call Trumpers doesn't mean the same thing I mean by "fake news media." Still, I give him credit for getting the subject out there so we can attack a very real problem.

Fake news.

Too much media.

Too much entertainment.

Too much talk about rights and too little talk about responsibilities.

A good man's ideas for reforming our government

My lifelong friend Mick Curran is a very different sort of political animal.

He's maybe one-third Bernie Sanders and one-third Paul Ryan. The other third I haven't been able to figure out yet.

To be fair he is a more honorable man than either of the stars mentioned above, and I have no doubt he would have been happier had he never turned his interests to politics.

Mick's primary philosophy is that he is against big government, big business and big labor.

I'm not going to say another word about that.

I am going to comment on a list of specifics he posted as a comment on a Facebook post of mine last night.

First, though, the last major party candidate Mick voted for was Ronald Reagan in 1984. Since then he has voted mostly for third-party wack jobs, although I have to admit he says he voted for me in one of those elections.

Thanks.

Anyway, last night I asked him how you take a nation of 320 million people and govern it as if it were Smallville.

Here's what he said with my comments:

"Less centralized power and more administrative responsibilities for states and localities."

Sounds good, but with different states being so different in what they do for their citizens, it's difficult to justify kids getting a better education because they live in one state than in another.